3 down....
i got three of my fillings today... ugh. it sucked. but it wasn't as bad as i imagined it was going to be. but still it sucked.... and i got lots more to get done. she won't even tell me how many... i think she's worried she'll scare me away... :S anywho.... i'm tired.. and carlee's being a brat tonight, i don't know why... fussy fussy.... that's all. g'nite
what should go on my ipod?
YAY!!! tony bought me an ipod for my birthday! woo hoo!!! i'm excited lol... he's like, "when are you ever going to use it? that's what we have the laptops for." but i like it, and i'm gonna use whenever i go out... and plus he wants to use it at work. lol... anywho... what songs/bands does everyone recommend? granted, we have a lot of mp3 files, (like 2,300+) but i don't have mtv or vh1 and haven't for over a year, so i'm lost on all the new bands, songs, etc. so tell me so i can check em out! yay!!!
He's such a butthead sometimes :)
**keep in mind, tony left yesterday morning to go underway**last night i got home late, after class i hung out at stress' house visiting for a while... when i got home, i laid the baby on the floor and made a beeline to the bathroom... as soon as i got in there, a tall man walked really fast by the door. my first thought was: "What the HELL? who's in my house, my BABY is out in the LIVING ROOM!" my heart was immediately in my throat. i thought all of that in a split second, then in the second second, i realized i recognized him... grrr it my was HUSBAND. i was so mad! he scared me so bad... into tears. ugh. lol... i can laugh about it now, but boy was i pissed off last night for a couple of minutes. he said he waited for me to put the baby down so i wouldn't drop her... so i know he planned it. butthead. :)anyway, so it turns out that they did go out, and then alot of things went wrong with the ship! good grief! gas leaks, engines went out... they got one engine up, and then another gas leak... so the captain was like, "yeah... we're gonna pull back in." so... that's why tony was home and i didn't even know it. so we're waiting to find out if they're going to go out at all this week or what. i hope that they don't. :) oh and another annoyance i'd like to blog about. we ordered a battery/charger for tony's laptop because one came not working when we ordered the laptops. well, we ordered it back on like the 6th and we still hadn't got it. so i looked online, and the stupid site said it was "successfully delivered." wtf mate? we never got it. so we tried calling, but they were closed. so, then monday i was supposed to call again, but it suddenly came to my attention that sometimes the front office will sign for things, so i went and checked there. sure enough.... it was there. for over two weeks! did the front office ever let us know? no. did they leave a note on the door? no. did they give us a call? no. i would of rathered the delivery truck have to come back and catch us, than to have it sitting in the office without them telling us it was there! geez! stupid front office. that's all. i've been able to write all this because carlee's sleeping. i had a load of laundry in the dryer, but it just buzzed so i gotta go fold it. all my cake decoration stuff is soaking in the sink, i have to finish washing them. and do another load of laundry. had enough of my mundaneness yet? lol... is that a word? haha... more later... maybe :)
Last Class
last night was my last class of course one. yay! i'm somewhat relieved. lol... this past month was stressfull trying to get to class, make cakes/cupcakes every week, get carlee to the babysitter's... etc... all while tony was underway every single time i had class just about... and plus i've realized i have a tendency to OvErStReSs about little things.... hmmm... sound familiar mom? lol... yeah... got that from my mom. :) anywho...
so, we had to make seven roses, and for some reason they were harder to make this week than last. my icing was being a pain. but i got them done. then we learned and practiced stems for a boquet of roses, and we learned three different leaves. then we learned a sweet pea flower. it's pretty if you get it right, alot of mine kept ending up looking like three straight lines next to eachother. lol...
so we put six of the roses in a cluster, added stems and leaves, then used a shell and sweet pea border for the bottom of the cake, and a smaller shell border for the top of the cake. we also learned a bow, but we had the choice of using it on our cake or not, and i didn't think i could do it good enough to make it look nice. anyway, there's the pic, but you can't see the bottom border, but i really liked it.
my cupcakes
The clown was my favorite. Today is the last class of course 1. I'm debating taking the second course. I really want to, but this has been stressfull with tony being underway all the time and trying to get things taken care of for carlee etc all on my own. grrr... plus we're supposed to be getting leave in november so i'd miss like 2 out of 4 classes anyway... i dunno... i'll have to talk to the teacher tonight.
...maybe i've been watching too much starting over...
how do you know when you've reached authenticity? i find myself wondering... who am i now? what do i enjoy? what do i like? what do i wish i could be? blogger buddies: when did you become authentic?
i'm watching carlee playing on the floor, exploring, squealing at her little toys dangling over her head, and i want her to know that whoever she is, she is perfect. i want her to grow up knowing that she can be who she is meant to be.
and also... when she's old to enough to understand and to comprehend getting to know her mommy, i want to be exactly that. her mommy. not what some people think i should be, not what i feel pressured to be, but exactly who i am... but it's hard, because over the years things happen that eat away at that pure you. i feel like i've lost little pieces of me over the years... and i don't know how to get them back. i've spent so many years trying to be something different for so many people.
i think that i'm thinking about this now because for the past two years almost, i felt like i haven't had that pressure to be something in particular. i'm so lucky to have such an accepting husband. he loves me for who i am, and continues to do so even as i grow. i feel like i can finally start to explore who i am and really get to know me better, and share that person with everyone else.
i've started projects like this before... started journals... started and erased alter-ego blogs... lol... but you know what? i don't feel like i should keep it secret, like i'm ashamed of things or something. how is that authentic? no. i'm going to start a new journey, one to get to know myself and grow. i'm hoping that this blog will help me do so.
publishing this post is a personal achievement all in its own. just knowing that people will know how Sheena really feels... wow. i actually feel empowered...
i wish....
well, thanks for your well wishes.... but yeah.... i'm gonna have to get a lot of work done. :(i haven't been to the dentist in a loooong time.... so yeah. when she was checking my teeth and telling the nurse what to write on the chart, it felt like she had something to say about every single tooth almost! anyway... i need.... i don't even know how many fillings.... she didn't tell me exactly how many, but it's alot. and one, she thinks needs a root canal, and a crown but she saw how upset i was, so she said she'd try a filling first to see if it would be enough... if not, i'll have to have root canal... and if any of the other fillings don't take... yeah... more root canals.... oh, and i have to get all four of my wisdom teeth pulled.... AND i have to see a gum specialist... so yeah.... ugh. not fun :( i was stressed out. i'm scared of getting so much work done. overwhelmed. tony told me not to worry about it, and he's just glad that we can take care of it. i guess that's one more thing that's good about the navy.... insurance. anywho.... more later.
Dentist
so my dentist appointment is tomorrow.... yikes! ugh... wish me luck....
First... Last... Current
i got this from loraloo who got it from jas :) and now i'm doing it:First Best Friend:
My first real best friend is Rise. I thought I had a best friend before her, but she ended up stabbing me in the back, so yeah, Rise. We met in junior high and we're still best friends. She helped me move over here to florida, driving 19 hours straight with me. she's the best, and i know we're going to keep being best friends forever. :)First Car:was a 1992 t-bird. red. i got it my sophomore year. it was nice, i liked it. the only thing i didn't like was that it was rear wheel drive, and it spun out on me a few times. scary... hmm... the driver side mirror was broken by a guy i worked with (on purpose) and he never fixed it. the windows were electric and quit working, so i could pull them down by hand if i locked myself out of my car... lol... which i did a few times.First Kiss:my very first kiss was when i was in the sixth grade. i was "going out" with my first "boyfriend" and we went to skate world the one time i convinced my mom to let me go, my sister had to go too. lol... anyway, it was only a quick peck. nothing too special. First Makeout:hmm... that would be my freshman year. like loraloo i was dating an older guy. i was 15, he was 17. it was the first time i got to spend a whole day with him, it's okay though, i married him. :)First Big Trip:hmm... i guess the very first trip i remember (and i only remember certain things) was when i went to ohio with my grandparents to visit my greatgrandparents. (i don't even remember how old i was) i remember coloring with my grandma, sharing ginger ale with my great grandpa, and talking with my greatgrandma and eating life savers with her.First Flight:i was 12 i think, and i got to fly to new york with a group of girls for a modeling/acting competition... looking back, i'm convinced it was a scam. we went to a boat party and on the way back to the hotel, the group i was with piled into a cab and left me, so i got lost... luckily i ran into another girl and her parents so they let me hang out with them... someone upstairs was looking out for me. we shoulda sued the agency haha.First time skiing/snowboarding:my sophomore year, we went to colorado for a band competition. i tried to learn how to snowboard, but i kept falling, and it was freezing, and frustrating, so i gave up. lol don't think i would ever try again either. ha.First alcoholic drink:i don't remember... hmm... my mom let us sip her wine coolers when we were 13ish(?) i think... don't remember...First Ticket Violation:**knock on wood** i have a perfect driving record! **knock on wood**First job:ugh. bagger at HEB grocery store. started a month after i turned 16. bagged groceries, pushed carts in the Texas heat... then after a year i got promoted to cashier. i stayed there for 3 years... 2.9 years too many. LoLFirst date:same day as first makeout (above)... we spent the day together, went to mission taco, played pool, hung out at his grandpa's house, we watched edward scissorhands, that was the first movie we ever watched together, and ate mcdonald's. :)Last car ride:ugh, went to the post office today after tony got home, so that i didn't have to take the baby. fought traffic all the way there and all the way back. living so close to base sucks when it comes to traffic. got tailgated, cut off, and waited through 6 lights before i finally was able to take the turn down our street. Last kiss:lol... just a few minutes ago, i kept kissing tony to wake him up from his nap... he got mad LoLLast time you cried:uh... to tell the truth, it was a few weeks ago, when i thought about having to tell my mom about moving to italy. Last movie watched:Kill Bill Volume 2 on sunday. i had wanted to watch it earlier that day, and in the afternoon, tony put it in, which surprised me because he doesn't like it.Last food you ate:two slices of leftover pizza (ham and pineapple) with ranch dressing spread over the top of it, and a cupcake... so not healthy :Last Love:hmm... before my one and only? i guess it would be my daisy dog. is that pathetic?Last Temptation:those stupid cupcakes i made for class, sitting in the oven so the cats don't get to them. i gave in today.... twice.Last Item bought:i bought some stuff on ebay from this lady that sells victoria secret stuff for really cheap, and it's genuine... i don't know how people get the extra stuff that doesn't sell from companies.... you can make a lot of profit that way. sheesh.Last Annoyance:the traffic coming home from post office.Last time wanting to die:uhhh never. ??? Last concert:well tony's been to some recently, but not me. :( my last was OzzFest 2003. geez... i'm such a party-er... not **it would of been soad but they didn't give tony the day off **Last phone call:hmm completed would be to my grandma.... we talked today... later, i called tony to see when he'd be home, but he didn't answer. call screening babe? lol...Last friend added to your blog:it's about to be stress. welcome to the addiction. yay :)Current best friend:my very very very best friend? that would be tony. how could it not be? he's the last person i see before i go to sleep, the first i see when i wake up, the one i still share secrets with, the one who is going through this foreign yet exciting journey of parenthood with me... he makes me laugh, feel loved, accepted, and supports me... yeah, he's it.Current Car:2004 Saturn Vue. i love it. we missed it so much when it was having work done, and they gave us a tiny little cavalier to drive... ugh, i banged my head on the edge of the door twice. grrr stupid little car.Current Love:my hubby and our little one. they are the light of my every day. :D i'm so thankful for themCurrent activity:uhhh... i'm blogging. duh... haha besides that... selling extra shtuff on ebayCurrent annoyance:i have a rumbly in my tumbly.... i'm hungry, and tony's napping.....Current mood:entertained.... by carlee who is sitting beside me watching pbs and making funny faces and weird noises....
i'm beat
so, i just got carlee to sleep a few minutes ago... and i have a few minutes to write before i pass outtttttt.................................................................oh, sorry. i'm awake. i promise. today i've been constantly on the go. first a trip to the post office to mail stuff i sold on ebay (yay..), then off to the nex to buy some more boxes, but they didn't have the size i needed, so then a fifteen minute drive to the closest walmart.... then all the way back to base to pick up a prescription.... back home since carlee was getting hungry, feed her, entertain her, get her down for a nap, bake my cupcakes for class, make a batch of frosting (meanwhile carlee woke up, and was screaming), so back to entertaining her while the cupcakes cool, feed her again, put her in the jumperoo, ice my cupcakes, make another batch of icing to use during class, start cleaning up, but carlee loses it, lol.... go back to taking care of her... my babysitter showed up (since tony had duty today AGAIN!) this time my friend loopy watched her (not that stress wasn't a good babysitter :) she was online when i asked) anywho.... so i rushed to get all my class stuff together, carlees stuff straight, went to class, learned decorations (yay!) came home, chatted with loopy and some dude ;) then after they left, fed carlee her cereal, tried to get her to sleep, but she fights it forever!... and now here i am.... i know my posts are always somewhat mundane.... hardly ever compelling or very interesting except to my family probably lol... never gramatically correct... my tenses go back and forth... i don't care. ha.ugh... another thing i was supposed to do today was make a dentist appointment. but i'm scared... yeah... ugh. i haven't been in a looooooong time... very long time. and now my last wisdom tooth has pushed its way through and there's no room for it, and it's hurting very bad. there's a dentist office called "gentle dentist" and i wonder if that's just for advertisement... but we'll see. so, my whole reason for posting was to tell about my class tonight. it was fun. i was going to upload some pics, but the dang batteries are dead on the camera :( so.... i'll do it tomorrow. but anyway, we worked some more on our roses, learned some more flowers, and how to do some caricatures, and made a clown. that was cute, i liked the clown. i'll post some pics tomorrow. right now i'm going to bed. alone. :( i hate duty days. and they're going underway alot this month, every week practically, and starting this week, they all include weekends, so the guys practically will not have a single day off this month. stupid. that's all.
Countdown begins
already! geez. we realized today that we have seven months before we move. So, today I started going through my closet, organizing, and getting rid of stuff we don't need. I have a box for donations, and a box of stuff I think I can get a little money out of on ebay. So, the closet is done, except for the clothes... I didn't even want to start going through those today. haha... anywho. this weekend has been busy busy since tony finally got home. i was instantly in a better mood as soon as I picked him up on Thursday. **sigh of relief** Anywho... just a quick update to everyone...
Tomorrow
Tony will come home. geez... this week has been stressfull. It's always hard to do anything when Tony's gone. I usually talk myself out of doing anything just because of how overwhelming it feels sometimes to get ready, get Carlee ready, get all the stuff I need to leave the house... sheesh! Even something that should be simple, such as going to grocery store for two things, is a hundred times harder!
I had to leave Carlee with a babysitter for the first time on Monday so that I could go to my cake decorating class. I really trust this friend though, otherwise I wouldn't even of gone to class. I wrote about how she fared in her blog, but I was more emotional than I thought I was going to be too. I was tearing up walking into the classroom lol... but she did good, and I'm so grateful that I have such a good friend here that would watch her, knowing that it was the first time being watched by anyone other than family. (and even then, she's only been watched by family once!) lol... :)
Yesterday, I actually got to go visit friends of mine that have been on vacation. K invited me over for dinner, and she and her family absolutely love Carlee, so I felt right at home taking her with me. It was nice to have dinner with them and talk with adults. lol...
Anywho... right now, I'm tired. I've been busy all day doing chores. Carlee's beem surprisingly good today. :) I can't wait for tony to get home! :)
My first Cake
I did everything but the rose. The teacher made the rose at the end of the class to show us how we'll be making it next week.
Boy were my hands tired at the end of class! I was alot of fun though... and SO much easier than I thought! I mean it's going to take practice, but every time I ever saw a cake at the store, I always thought it must be so complicated to decorate like that, but it's not! it's so cool, I'm really enjoying this class. :) more later!
*-*-* ITALY *-*-*
my love decided to reinlist! we've been debating it for a while now. i'm so proud of him. i told him i would support him no matter what he decided to do. well, he made the decision wednesday. we're going to italy! i'm excited. i've never been out of the country! woo hoo! the only thing that sucks is being far away from family... ugh. that's going to SuCk. but i can't wait to travel over there, and it's going to be so nice because tony will be on shore duty so no going UnDeRwAy for a long while anyway. :) this has to be quick... i gotta go eat dinner real quick before carlee wakes up. tony's UnDeRwAy right now :( that's all... hope ya'lls weekend was good! and have a good holiday tomorrow! :)
We got the TRUCK!!!
Yay! We picked the truck up today! woohoo!!!
It was GREAT!
I'm so excited!!! my first class was last night. first of all, it felt great to just get out of the house, no baby to worry about, no chores to worry about.... just me, and learning a new hobby... I got to the classroom early, so I decided to walk around Michaels for a little bit. Found a few books for Carlee (okay... so she was on my mind, lol... it felt wierd.) Got an employee to let me buy a coke from the break room (I needed the caffeine...) then headed back to the class.
By then, there was about 3/4 of the people there. We had a HUGE class. We introduced ourselves and then started the learning. Well, for the first class, we mainly went over what our supplies were and some we needed to buy still, how to make the frosting, different consistencies of the frosting, etc. And also what we were going to learn. She showed us really quick, and I can't tell you how fun and awesome this looks to do! I'm so excited. I'm hoping I don't let myself get frustrated. I really want to learn this.
After class, the teacher took us down the cake isle and we got help getting the rest of the supplies we needed. So this weekend, I have to bake a cake, tort (sp?) it, and ice it. And we're going to learn some flowers next week I think, and even start on the rose!!! Can you tell I'm excited? lol.... I'll take pics of my work even if it's not so good at first, lol, just to show you what we're learning.
last night was my last class of course one. yay! i'm somewhat relieved. lol... this past month was stressfull trying to get to class, make cakes/cupcakes every week, get carlee to the babysitter's... etc... all while tony was underway every single time i had class just about... and plus i've realized i have a tendency to OvErStReSs about little things.... hmmm... sound familiar mom? lol... yeah... got that from my mom. :) anywho...
