i'm back.... finally
Today was pretty good, I actually accomplished something. I wrote up 6 listings for ebay. Some of Carlee's clothes she's outgrown. Starting them out at .99 I just need to get rid of a bunch of stuff. I've been feeling so overwhelmed because I have so much stuff I need to list on ebay. So today, I picked out ten things and said I would write those listings up and take it a little bit at a time. Well, Carlee let me do 6 but it's a good start. I'm finally starting to feel back to my normal self....I just confided this in tony the other day... After Carlee was born, I didn't think I had post partum (sp?)... I didn't consider myself depressed... but just recently, like within the past two weeks, I woke up one day and just felt better, more like my normal self. And as soon as I felt like that, I realized how crappy I've felt for the past 7 months. :(
I realized I hadn't done much of anything beyond taking care of Carlee. I didn't cook, I didn't clean the house very much, I hated doing laundry, even hated doing the dishes... Tony was cooking most of the dinners, or we'd order in. At the time, it seemed so overwhelming to me... and I had absolutely no energy whatsoever... I was relying on several cokes a day to give me bursts of energy. A constant up and down cycle throughout the day... All of my attention and energy was spent on taking care of Carlee, I didn't have anything left in me... for the past seven months!
I still don't believe I was ever depressed. I didn't have anything really to be depressed about... overwhelmed? yes. completely unsure of myself as a mother? yes. Inadequate? yes. unattractive? yes. stressed? yes.
But I feel 1000 times better now. I can do the dishes again and talk to to Carlee in her highchair... I can listen to her crying fits and not feel like my head is going to implode... lol... I can do a load of laundry and not feel like the ceiling is going to collapse on my head. Which reminds me... I think there's still a load in the dryer... crap... guess i'm not over my scatter brain-ness. LOL... anyway...
My point is I'm feeling back to my old self... finally! Maybe I'm getting better at this motherhood thing... and quitting drinking cokes has helped alot too....
posted by *s* @ 10:32 PM
1 Comments:
Good to hear you're feeling like YOU again!
They don't tell us what to look for with post-partum depression and that it does really happen; we're told over and over how happy we should be as new Moms. I know I had it too, it was rough for the first few months... thankfully I had a great support system.
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