Three Months a Mother
It's 11pm... I cannot go to sleep. Carlee's actually been asleep since 9:30 which is highly unusual. It's definately not our normal schedule, which I guess is why I'm wide awake. Which also probably means she's going to wake up hungry as soon as I'm falling asleep. Well, with her sleeping, it has been a quiet night. I got to watch some tv, blog surf, chat with a friend on AIM... normal stuff. Tried to get to bed early... not happening. So random thoughts have been running through my mind as I try to relax.I've been a mother now for three months. Wow. I can't believe that long has already passed. It's weird, sometimes I can't remember what it felt like to not be a mom. And yet at the same time, I still feel like the same person I always was. I hope that makes sense. :) It's as though my perception of time has completely warped itself. I feel the same as a mom of a three month old as I did when she was only three seconds old. And I'm almost positive that I will continue to feel the same emotions, responsabilities, love, until she is three years, or thirty years, or when her own child is three years old even. So, with that realization, time doesn't exist for me in the same way that it used to. No matter how much time goes by, or how fast or slow it decides to go, I am still and will always be a mother. That thought just amazes me. I can't even explain how much.
She's sleeping in her bassinet right now. I can see the outline and shadows of her little plump face. I know that this is my place. This is my purpose in life. I am so fulfilled at this point in my life, and I hope that never goes away.
posted by *s* @ 10:58 PM
2 Comments:
I read your post and could relate to everything you said. Time moves so quickly - you're so busy - but there are and will be times where your child does something so precious that time stands still.
I remember life before motherhood yet I'm not really sure what I did with all that time! I also remember being pregnant and so worried about how I was going to do this. It's funny to think about now.
Hope you had a good night and got some great sleep.
"time moves so quickly..."/"time stands still..."
EXACTLY Loraloo!!! Isn't it amazing how that works!?! and you're right, what DID I do with all that free time?!!! geez... if I had only known.... lol
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